Did you do your homework? You remember, the assignment I gave you in Part 1 of this article. The task was to find a teen, wrap your arms around them and let them know that they can share anything with you. Tell them you will love them no matter what. That assignment may have seemed simple but it was far from easy. Unconditional love is never easy. Still, don’t dismiss it, a child’s life could depend on it.

A dear friend of mine - a hard working, loving solo parent - buried her youngest child last week after he took his own life. She would have given up all of her earthly possessions just to wrap her arms around him one more time and tell him that nothing he was going through was worth dying for.

Her son, Devin, was a bright, funny seventeen year old, who brought joy into the lives of all of those who knew him. "Everyone in his school said he was their friend" said his mother, who is still at a loss for why her son shot himself in the basement of his grandparent’s home.

Actually Devin’s friends, in Baltimore, knew more about how he felt than his mother. She had remained in South Carolina after breaking up with his father. Several teens said later that Devin sent them text messages saying he wanted to die, but they didn’t really believe him. "I guess they thought they had talked him out of it" she said softly. Still his mom doesn’t blame his friends. "They are just children, where were the adults?" she asked.

Just because adults are around doesn’t mean they can hear a child screaming for help. Children may come out and say they don’t want to live – that must always be taken seriously. Sometimes the screams are silent, though. You may have to listen for what your child is not saying. Maybe he or she isn’t talking about the future. Perhaps they don’t talk about how much they enjoy school, friends or hobbies. I know these sound like simple things but when a child’s life is at stake, it is worth digging below the surface.

There are some more obvious signs of suicide:

• Observable signs of serious depression:

o Pessimism

o Hopelessness

o Anxiety

o Sleep Problems

o Withdrawal

• Recent Impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks

• Increased alcohol and /or drug use

• Unexpected rage or anger

• Making a plan:

o Giving away prized possessions

o Sudden of impulsive purchase of a firearm

o Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications

• Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die.

Devin’s peers struggle to deal with their loss. Many have posted videos or written songs, poems and essays in his honor. One blog, www.tumblr.com, gives a poignant glimpse of how these teens are dealing with the loss of one of their own. One girl he shared a locker with said:

"Life is so precious, and you will never really know how much you touch a person’s life. And you never really know what kind of pain someone is going through. Don’t be fooled by their smiles and jokes. Don’t forget to check in with those people too. Don’t assume that they’re smiling because they have no problems. They’re just better at hiding them."

Another student gives a warning:

"So many people end their lives and end their story line, even before it’s begun. I was almost one of them. I was constantly asking for help and making offhand comments about death, and no one listened for the longest time, until almost too late. I can’t comprehend not telling anyone. If someone has the strength to not show any signs at all, it’s always going to be too little, too late."

Still another student realized that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem:

"No matter what his reasoning, I just think he really acted too fast. I understand, believe me I understand more than anything else in this world that it’s too late to tell him now but I just wish... I just wish we all had one more day with him. I wish someone would have done something. I wish someone, i wish I would have had the forethought or something to try and just… talk to him. Give him some reason to live. Cuz his life was ended too early".

Devin’s is another young life that ended too soon. Help me put an end to teen suicide. Log on to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org to learn more.